Comments on: Independence Day http://quarkonium.wordpress.com/2008/06/10/independence-day/ Some musings... Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:48:23 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: quarkonium http://quarkonium.wordpress.com/2008/06/10/independence-day/#comment-31 quarkonium Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:23:57 +0000 http://quarkonium.wordpress.com/?p=58#comment-31 Thanks Mark. You refer to the "Life is grand." line? Did anyone get the analogy between the fireworks (futile lemmings) and the boss' goals/values? Maybe it is too weak... Thanks Mark. You refer to the “Life is grand.” line? Did anyone get the analogy between the fireworks (futile lemmings) and the boss’ goals/values? Maybe it is too weak…

]]> By: mark abinante http://quarkonium.wordpress.com/2008/06/10/independence-day/#comment-29 mark abinante Sun, 15 Jun 2008 06:11:09 +0000 http://quarkonium.wordpress.com/?p=58#comment-29 Dripping with delicious irony. Delicious 2nd-to-last line!!! But please! Loose the last line! After the previous line, there is nothing more to be said. That line is like an unexpected slap in the face, and what usually follows an unexpected slap in the face is a stunned, awkward silence. Which is what should folllow that line... So much mood pact into the opening line descriptions of the fireworks. Great job. Fascinating to me the whole gender -switching exercise, because while all the "correct" elements are in place that are needed to describe the female's experience (dropping the dress size, etc), it is impossible to shake a very masculine feel to the mood and descriptions, esp the fireworks etc. Dripping with delicious irony. Delicious 2nd-to-last line!!! But please! Loose the last line! After the previous line, there is nothing more to be said. That line is like an unexpected slap in the face, and what usually follows an unexpected slap in the face is a stunned, awkward silence. Which is what should folllow that line…

So much mood pact into the opening line descriptions of the fireworks. Great job.

Fascinating to me the whole gender -switching exercise, because while all the “correct” elements are in place that are needed to describe the female’s experience (dropping the dress size, etc), it is impossible to shake a very masculine feel to the mood and descriptions, esp the fireworks etc.

]]>